Processing Styles: Internal vs External
Have you ever noticed that some people tend to think out loud, while others quietly contemplate before sharing? Processing style has a lot to do with this. Understanding the processing styles can help you better understand yourself as well as the people around you.
Internal Processors
Internal processors often process information by reflecting internally for awhile before sharing any thoughts or opinions. These people are able to sort through and make sense of information by turning inward. They may feel most focused in a peaceful or quiet environment where they can focus on their thoughts. It is also normal for their processing speed to be a bit slower than external processors - they may prefer to sit with the information for a few hours or day or two before sharing thoughts or feelings.
Common Characteristics / Experiences for Internal Processors
May feel flooded or overwhelmed at the volume of information shared by external processors
May struggle to sift through information shared by external processors and feel pressure to distill information down
May prefer time to collect their thoughts and construct their feelings in a way that accurately represents how they feel
May feel lost or confused about how to express what they are feeling or experiencing
May be perceived as being indifferent, uncaring, or dismissive to external processors
May feel self conscious or intimidated when trying to share / keep up with external processors
External Processors
External processors typically process information by verbally processing what they are feeling or thinking. For these people, hearing their own words out loud helps them to organize their experience and make sense of what they are thinking of. External processors often feel recharged, energized, or relieved after verbally processing with another person and coming to conclusions or resolutions.
May feel frustrated when their internal processing acquaintances aren’t as responsive as they would like them to be
May feel like they are “word vomiting” on their internal processor partner or friend
May feel like they are speaking from stream of consciousness / rambling
May struggle to sit with not having an answer or needing to wait for a resolution
Find great relief when they are able to talk through whatever is bothering them or on their mind
Understanding your own processing style and your partner’s style helps you to better understand yourself and what you need as well as gaining some perspective on what it might be link inside your partner’s brain!